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As my daughter is getting older and TV, unfortunately, is becoming a bigger part of her life (her grandmother watches her during the day and lets her watch Disney/nick jr./etc despite me asking her not to...), she is becoming exposed to all the commercials targeted at children: sugar covered cardboard cereal, HFCS drinks, etc. etc. etc.

So the question: How can I minimize the influence? She's too young to understand the mechanics of paleo and saying "this is healthy/good for your body" doesn't hold as much weight as the kids on TV who are having SOOO much fun eating their worthless food.

And my next worry is what happens when she goes to kindergarten and all the other kids are eating the aforementioned worthless food (that she's never eaten herself) and they share it with her... I know she'll start asking questions at that point, but I don't want her to develop a complex where she feels the need to acquire these horrible foods and hide them...

Thoughts?

thanks for your help...

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As far as school, they are pretty consious about kids NOT sharing for fear of a pnut allergy. it has been drilled into the kinds from prek and up not to share for this very reason. However, my son asks from time to time why he can get rice krispy treats for lunch. several kids buy chocolate milk and a krispy treat and their lunch and eat what ever the carby bready thing is on the plate and the chocolate milk and krispy treat. As your child grows and you continue to give them good food if they try the other stuff...some will be too sweet. my son ISNT paleo, however I make my meals and modify. – paleoprimal Feb 2 2012 at 16:33
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then one day he drank apple juice after years of me watering it down and told me it was too sweet and squished his face up!...it was awesome...now the child can eat cookies and icecream and never make a face but it is a start! – paleoprimal Feb 2 2012 at 16:34
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I tend to mute commercials for both myself and my kids. Even if we don't realize it advertising does effect us on some level, and being told the same lies over and over makes them begin to sound of truth. – JayJay Feb 2 2012 at 18:56

12 Answers

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I knew a woman who worked as an herbalist and felt very strongly about what food she fed her kids. That being said, she also decided to let them make their own decisions when they weren't at home (at restaurants, a friends house, etc.). This gave her children a feeling of independence while also diminishing the chances of disordered eating.

When I was talking to her about this strategy, she said that it worked really well because children are very in-tune with their bodies. If you start them out with a healthy food foundation when they are young and eat most of their meals at home, they will notice how industrial foods affect the way they feel later on. Allowing them to come to their own conclusions is empowering and cultivates a healthy relationship with food.

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Cool. That's comforting. :) – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 17:01
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Ahhhh ha ha ha. I am laughing so hard at your question since I can relate so much. You went from young child to future complex in about 5 seconds. Pre-worry up the wazoo. That's me. I think...hmmm...if I persuade them to eat these sardines will I have to pay for therapy in 6 years for an eating disorder? Will I be remembered as "The Mom who made us eat strange stuff?"

I'm trying to make things "not a big deal" like Everyday Paleo suggests but at the same time I do talk about sugar/wheat etc. and what makes us sick. My kids DO ask for things the other kids have but I just listen, nod and ignore it. That seems to work--they forget about it. They are 5 and 6.

For the past year I changed little things here and there for them and started introducing new foods as I got more grounded in Paleo. Going to the last large assembly at school and seeing all the over-weight, puffy-faced kids made me re-double my efforts more aggressively. I just wanted to run over and hug them and give them some beef liver! Ahhh ha ha.

To answer your question....I don't think you can minimize the influence. I think it's going to be like anything else...they look to you for the boundaries. And...I think they like the boundaries. It's a safety thing maybe? Plus...I don't push perfection on them. They still eat cereal and pizza with Daddy.

I don't forbid anything. I just control their lunches and snacks and try to tell them things about food. Like..."What foods are good for us!?" They yell, "Meat and Fat!" I also find that letting them help cook dinner and make their own lunches helps. They get really excited and don't think about the food as much as the fact that THEY made it. They love to make coconut milk ice cream in this easy ice cream maker we have, for example. They love to crack eggs.

It's not easy though..my daughter will love something and suddenly say..."I don't like that anymore." In my head I think, "Ok great. I'll just put some toxic grains in your lunch then cause I'm all out of ideas!"

Lots of kids from all different backgrounds/ethnicities have to to conform food-wise in society...vegetarians, Muslim kids, Jewish kids and these parents have the same challenges. I think we just have to do the best we can and hope they adopt our philosophy.

And...you are very lucky!!! Your daughter is young and so you've got lots of time to get her taste buds going in the right direction. You're going to do great! Good luck. :)

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Excellent answer, and great point about Muslim and Jewish kids who have the same challenges. I grew up in a Jewish area so it wasn't weird for kids to bring PB&Matzoh for a week to school, and now my kids are growing up in a heavily Muslim community, so they will probably be used to seeing some kids eating differently on their end as well. It's not as "weird" as it used to be, like the table with the kids who had peanut allergies. – Laina Feb 2 2012 at 16:29
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It's silly but I'm really worried about that "they still eat cereal and pizza with Daddy." Backstory: I'm separated from my daughter's father. He got out of the Army and I'm still in for the foreseeable future. When I get deployed, she will live with him. I'm ok with that because I want them to have a relationship, but he is NOT paleo. He's not even health-conscious. He drinks Soda like it's water & has an addiction to SAD food. So for 9 mnts at a time she'll be subjected to his diet. He knows how I feel, but he won't become paleo... What can I do? What would you do? – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 16:56
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It's not silly. I worry too. Your situation is a little different with the 9 month thing. My amateur opinion...1. He loves her and will take good care of her even if he feeds her margarine instead of coconut oil. That counts for a lot. Same with my husband. He's a good Daddy...just not Paleo. 2. Send a box of foods with her when you get deployed and practice her into eating some of those before you go. I would be non-chalant with both her and him about it. It won't hurt to put some fun things and little toys in the box either. She'll want to get in Mommie's goodie box often. – BaconHealsChic Feb 2 2012 at 17:17
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I'm a son myself, and my mother forced me to eat bread when I was young. Never worry, as long as your intentions are good, your children will love you. – Korion Feb 2 2012 at 17:28
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"Pre-worry up the wazoo" is just priceless. Heh. Thanks. – redberry Feb 2 2012 at 19:03
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I have young kids and while they do watch TV, they almost never ask for stuff in TV commercials, so when your daughter is at home, you don't have much to worry about. One thing I would suggest is to let go a little bit and let her be a "normal" kid. Believe it or not, your positive influence at home will make a bigger impact on her than what she learns at school. By all means pack lunches, make them Paleo, let her learn to enjoy healthy food, but don't freak out when you find out she was eating sugar covered gummy worm cotton candy pixie stix at her first school party hosted by some room mom who thinks that low fat cream cheese covered pasta with a handful of frozen corn tossed in is a healthy family dinner. Let her be a kid. Kids have to make a lot of decisions on their own and diet is not excluded. Good luck - the fact that you have concerns in the first place means you're doing a great job!

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Thanks Laina. I guess I have first time mom complex and I want everything to be perfect. But you're right, I have to let go a little... Next project is converting grandma to paleo to make it easier on all of us. :) – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 15:36
Haha, MUCH luck with that! Yikes :) – Laina Feb 2 2012 at 15:37
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My parents strictly forbade candy, cookies, etc when we were kids. At the same time, my mom's cooking was pretty horrifying. Unsurprisingly, when I got to prep school and could eat whatever I wanted? I swung back and forth between highly restrictive eating and crazy Coco-Pop binges. I think it's great that you are exposing her to healthy DELICIOUS food at home and I think it's also okay for her to have that 'other stuff' elsewhere. She really will get the foundation to make good choices -- I didn't. – CharlotteM Feb 2 2012 at 21:44
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You could get a DVR and skip comercials.

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True. Though the same thing applies from Melinda's comment - she can't handle DVDs so I highly doubt she could handle a DVR. Side note: I got rid of my DVR/hi def/digital cable in favor of just basic cable. Saving some $$ and forcing myself to watch less tv (I could waste HOURS watching recorded shows on the weekend) - win/win. – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 16:00
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Exactly this. My 3 year old is not yet old enough to handle the DVR skip button. But he's used to watching everything on DVR or Netflix, so he yells for us if there are commericals. He hates them. – jj Feb 2 2012 at 16:14
We only really watch Hulu and Netflix, so if there's regular TV on with commercials someplace else, the whole family stands still and swivels our head like a bunch of lemurs or something. It's enthralling if you don't see a barrage of them every day. And wow are they LOUD. – Laina Feb 2 2012 at 17:04
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For lunches I recommend checking out familygrokumentarian's blog for awesome bentobox lunches that she packs - I make very similar lunches for daycare, and the other daycare parents are always asking me what I pack my son for lunch and how I get him to eat it all (apparently other kids at daycare want his food, not the other way around).

I think the main thing is to make the food look fun and appealing, and don't shy away from fruits and other 'sweeter' paleo foods for the lunch.

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Thanks, I'll check out that blog. – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 16:42
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Yes. I love that site too. I agree on making the food look fun. – BaconHealsChic Feb 2 2012 at 16:48
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+1 I like the recipe index there also Bree. – Wcc Kamal Stabby fan Feb 2 2012 at 16:52
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Hey, thanks so much, guys. :) It's always heartening to know that the lunchboxes are giving others ideas! – familygrokumentarian Feb 2 2012 at 22:37
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I feel your worry. My son was a young child when cereals were 60% sugar frosted with pure sugar.

I managed to raise him on "healthy" foods and whole grains and he'd never had a cavity when he reached 18. I made home-made bread and desserts, etc., and he had very little highly processed food. What did he do? As soon as he was on his own he lived on sugar, soda and junk for years and ruined his teeth and his gut. He's more sickly than I even though he eats SHAD (supposedly healthy American diet) now.

My grandson, who is now 17 and lives with me, has also been inundated with commercials and junk food all his life. I make sure he knows why I am eating as I am and which foods I think are least healthy and I let him eat whatever he wants. He eats a base of my foods but still eats cereal (he did switch to rice) and drinks a soda every day.

I'm not sure what the real solution is--our kids are influenced by us but they also have a natural urge to be "different" from us. At some point, all you can do is share your reasons and hold your breath.

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Thanks for your POV. My only hope is that I can raise a healthy, independent, level-headed daughter who will not have as many of the body-complex issues and yo yo dieting that the SAD helps to create (ignoring the media and peer pressure - i know that will be rough as well). And hopefully (in a perfect world), even if she does indulge in unhealthy options, she will realize how horrible they make her feel and resort back to her Paleo upbringing... – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 16:45
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With the young, I don't think they usually do feel horrible--which I certainly do. My grandson feels just fine on his cereal and his soda/energy drinks. But I do think the base of healthy foods he has adopted is the real hope of the future. And I think if you can plant the seed that wheat is not healthy it may pay off years down the road. – Nance Feb 2 2012 at 17:08
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Don't worry! My four-year-old is in preschool this year. The parents are responsible for bringing snacks for the class several times a year on a rotation (though I suspect that our name is put on more than it should be, which I will explain shortly). Every day I get home from work and ask my daughter what was for snack at school today. Sadly, her most frequent answer is, "Junk!" I ask her what it was and she explains, generally with disgust. Yesterday's conversation was as follows:

Me: What was for snack at school today, buddy? Autumn: Junk! Me: Oh, what was it? Autumn: Skittles and cake. Can you believe that? Me: Did you eat it? Autumn: No. It was gross.

When I ask her what she wants to bring when it is our turn, she always responds with a great answer, like apples and nut butter, or yogurt and raisens. This is also why I believe we are on the list more often than other parents. The teachers have commented on how much they appreciate our healthy snacks.

Trust in yourself and your good parenting skills. Children pick up on these things much more than they pick up on the crap on TV. Leading by example is what is going to make the difference for your kids, because they look up to you much more than they do the TV. My kids love fruit and vegetables, and I'm sure yours will too, if you eat like we do.

Autumn does get a bit upset because nobody else likes her snacks, but she is plumb tickled to have something "heafy" on her snack days :)

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That sounds so great Stephanie. I love the "heafy." – BaconHealsChic Feb 2 2012 at 16:23
She says it better now, but I can still picture my baby girl as a 2-year-old asking me, "Am I heafy, Mommy?" She's a little lady now... :) – Stephanie Feb 2 2012 at 17:02
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I would limit the amount of television if you could. I always keep a constant communication going about health and what healthy foods are. We talk a lot about what the difference between organic foods, natural foods, raw foods, and what effect the different types have on your body. I think the best option is to just give them the tools to make the right decisions and set a good example - they will likely follow.

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Yeah, until she becomes a tween/teenager and rebels by doing the opposite of everything I teach her. :-) But I'm getting ahead of myself. That's still a decade or so away. Lol. – Susan Feb 3 2012 at 17:16
Very true :) But you can't really control that, you know? Most kids go through it. If they do go through the rebelling stage, they will most likely come out of it and will have the tools to make the right decisions. :) Good luck! – DanielleO812 Feb 3 2012 at 17:43
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Streaming Netflix has been our savior on that front so far. We have a ROKU box so we can stream it on the TV (way easier to use and less expensive than a DVR, and the remote only has 9 buttons so even the little guy has figured it out). We have gotten almost all of our kid content that way since we started letting the little guy watch TV.

The downside is the occasions when we watch live TV, we are absolutely bombarded with, "I want that!" after each commercial (even if it is for something that isn't even for kids like shaving cream), so the data is not in yet whether we have made the right decision by keeping him away from it completely, rather than desensitizing him to it through exposure.

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Interesting. I've never heard of a ROKU box. I'll have to check it out. – Susan Feb 2 2012 at 20:46
We love our netflix. Our TV is hooked up as my husband's computer's 2nd monitor, so then we can just click and drag. – lostmitten Feb 4 2012 at 0:41
ROKU is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love ours. We use it to watch Amazon Instant, Hulu Plus, and Netflix. We haven't had cable in years and never need it again – The Paleo Mama Feb 4 2012 at 2:58
Our cable company kept jacking up our prices and pretty much drove us into the arms of ROKU and an antenna for the TV. The day we cancelled our cable felt quite liberating, and we didn't have it at all for a few years. We now have a super-basic cable because it comes with our internet. – Happy Now Feb 4 2012 at 20:15
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I am fortunate that my son only watches Discovery channel videos on Astrology and Dinosaurs on Netflix (no commercials). It may be a little unhealthy as he seems to obsess an awful lot over a modern meteoric armageddon for a 7-year-old, but not as unhealthy as having a white cartoon rabbit tell him that brightly colored sugar-corn frankenfood is "for kids"... or having PSA's tell him that peanut butter sandwiches are great "fuel" for an "active lifestyle".

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I know it isn't a popular choice, but I haven't owned an actual television set since 2004. I do have a projector for movies and moderate Wii/Netflix time, but I personally have no need or use for cable network or even local programming.

That's at my house, although what happens at mom's house is a different story.

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I think just talking to them and making them aware of what advertising is might help. Sort of "Why do you think the company made this commercial?" "If we bought one of those burgers do you think it would look as good as the commercial one?" Kids will feel so empowered if they understand ads are selling things to them, possibly trying to trick them, and they know the truth about it.

We don't have cable or antenna, but we do have netflix and borrowing DVDs from the library.

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