I have to totally eliminate grains from my diet, I think. My appetite and my ability to not constantly be hungry are impacted by my intake of foods that aren't good for me, grains included.

In other words, I avoid them totally. As in 100% avoidance. If I don't, like other junk foods they cause hunger spikes for me.

You didn't indicate what you're eating on your "good" days but here's what I suggest . . .

Your first meal of the day should be at least 6 oz or larger of fatty meat such as beef chuck. You can add whatever you like, but make sure you are full and the largest portion in the meal is meat.

See what happens to your appetite. The odds are you won't be hungry for a while.

If you don't like or don't tolerate beef, eat the next fattiest meat that you eat--pork, salmon with skin, big pile of eggs, whatever.

The goal is to become physically full early in your eating day and make sure you eat enough that any urges you feel are just emotional cravings. When I say "just" I don't mean they aren't difficult to deal with--I mean you are avoiding having both physical and emotional hunger at the same time.

If you keep yourself physically full for a week or two, your withdrawal cravings for grains should get better. When you recognize that what you're experiencing is emotional cravings rather than physical hunger, start distracting your cravings by getting away from food and doing something physical--walking, driving, whatever will keep you from eating.

It's hard, but some of us have succeeded so don't give up!

I find gluten to actually be addictive. As in, if I cheat with gluten, it will be a compelling urge for the next four days that I need to white-knuckle through, even though it also makes me feel like crap. It's not that you're weak willed; it takes amazing amounts of fortitude to turn it down after you allow that first bite into your mouth. I've found it less trouble to just turn down that first bite every single time.

So if your definition of moderate paleo is 'paleo with some gluten', I have no suggestions. However, if your complaint is LC paleo, paleo need not be low carb- plenty of carbs in all varieties of root vegetables, including taro and tapioca, along with fruits if you tolerate them. White rice is fairly harmless, although it has little awesomeness either, beyond being easy and cheap carbs. I use buckwheat in noodles, crepes, and baked goods for variety as well.

Gluten is way too addictive for me too. I can have it one day, but then if I have it two days in a row, I feel lost, my sugar cravings skyrocket, and I end up overeating crap. So I stay away from it. Every once in a while I will have some gluten free oats in some manner, either as oatmeal or to top on some baked apples, but it is very rare, and it scratches the itch without throwing me all out of whack.

I tried "low grains" because I still wanted to be able to eat bread. I couldn't control the hunger/eating either and it would get out of control. Only when I am sugar & grain free am I also free of the whole dang cycle! Cravings go away and hunger becomes normal. It's actually easier to be grain free. First you don't have the grain/sugar in your system that makes you want to eat more of it, but also it's just easier to not have that choice, the decision is pre-made.

I sympathize with this. It was really hard for me to cut back on grains. The thing that turned the corner for me was keeping track of how I felt after I ate various things. I noticed that a couple of hours after I ate a lot of grain (or refined sugar...or god forbid, both at once) I felt sad or tired. I have severe depression, and I try very hard to keep my mood as stable as possible through lifestyle management -- enough sleep, low stress, exercise...and diet. So, clearly the grain had to go for me. That logic made it easier to stick to the "no grain" approach.

The trick I have for avoiding the binging on sweets is to carry a packet of raw sugar with me. Whenever I have a severe sugar craving, I pour 1/2 of the packet under my tongue. I read this someplace as a tactic for dealing with carb cravings when you start something like paleo. I don't do it more than once a day, and usually I only do it a couple of times a week. Putting it under your tongue means you get a 'hit' of sugar pretty fast without putting too much in your body in terms of carbs.

It is possible you have a physical addiction to grains like some others have said and that you will never be able to eat them in "moderation" just like an alcoholic can't drink in moderation. I would definitely give this idea serious thought.

Is it also possible that guilt may be a big part of your problem and that your binges after eating a little grain are emotional eating because deep down you believe you have failed your Paleo diet? Many folks on this board avoid grains completely-especially gluten-containing grains, but there are probably just as many of us who are following an 80%/20% approach or 90/10 approach or "open meal" approach as some popular Paleo writers advocate as sensible. For me using one of these approaches doesn't mean I'm "eating grains in moderation," it's just the reality of modern life as a single mother of twin three-year-olds. 100% Paleo is out of our reach right now and that's okay. I know I'm improving my health by reaching 90%. Perhaps the difference for me is that I don't try to eat just a little grain or a little legume. I try to eat as close to 100% Paleo as possible, but I don't beat myself up when it doesn't happen, and yes, occasionally I give myself permission to indulge in something "not so bad." (At least once this summer I am going to buy fresh sweet corn from farmer whose selling it out of the back of his pick-up at the gas station. I am going to slather it in butter and enjoy every bite!).

What I wonder is do you really believe an 80/20 approach is good enough? Do you believe having two "open meals" a week where you can eat grains without feeling guilty is sensible and okay? Granted this depends on your body and yes, you probably will do better with rice and corn instead of wheat etc. etc. But do you really believe this is a healthy, sensible approach that is right for you? If not, then maybe what is happening is that you eat a little grain and you feel guilty. You feel like you've already had some and "messed up your diet," so why not just pig-out on grains for a while. I understand this emotional thinking. This is what undermines so many weight-loss diets, where the dieter believes she has to be perfect and when she's not, she emotionally copes with her failure by eating even more pie or brownies. It sounds like maybe this is what is going on for you. If so, maybe you could re-read Mark Sisson's book and think about what 80/20 or 90/10 might look like for you. Or maybe try the open meal approach. The important thing is, if you are going to use an 80/20 approach, then really give yourself permission to use it. Tell yourself it is perfectly okay to eat half a cup of rice with your beef and broccoli stir-fry because that rice is part of your 20%. This is not a failure. Perhaps coming to terms with this would stop the emotional eating afterward?

If you absolutely need to to binge or indulge, binge on fruit, nuts, dark chocolate, etc. At least you are still remaining gluten-free, even with the occasional weak moment. There is no such thing as "grains in moderation" for those in whom grains act as a trigger food. Just a few minutes ago, after a very long and stressful day, I "pigged out" on frozen banana slices dusted with cocoa powder. In the end, I'd rather indulge and over-eat on 10x the amount of whole food versus a tiny portion of SAD food. Why? Because when it comes to crackers, cookies, chips, bread, etc I can NEVER stop at just a few. I have identified certain things as trigger foods, and so I stay away from them completely.

The ONLY way I can keep from binging on grains is by not keeping them around. Since I started Paleo a few weeks ago, I've had a small piece of bread at a restaurant and a single homemade gnocchi at a party. If I had either one at home by myself, I am SURE I would have eaten way too much!