"You're going to have a heart attack."

"I'm definitely going to have to go the gym after this cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie."

"How can you not eat this cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie? It's Debbie's release-from-the-hospital-after-her-fourth-heart-attack-from-too-many-cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie-parrties-party!"

"Spin class is my faaaaaaaaaaavorite. But I'm still can't lose this 10 pounds. I must need to do more spin classes."

"After this meal I still have 1433 calories left. But I need to watch my fat intake."

"It's the saturated fat that you need to look out for."

"Yeah, I eat pretty healthy. I stay away from all red meat. Doctor said it's the reason for my high cholesterol."

"I stay away from red meat and pork. And I eat a TON of fruit and whole grain. Want a slice of my papaya?"

"Are there any 100 calorie snack packs left?"

"I did Zumba last night and burned over 800 calories!"

"So you eat raw meat?"

"I'm diabetic."

"Have you read the china study?"

"But lamb has so much cholesterol!"

"But eggs have so much cholesterol!"

"But liver has so much cholesterol!"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't fathom how that much cholesterol is good for you!"

"You look great! I baked these cookies for you..."

After explaining no grains, legumes, dairy, sugar....

"Then what DO you eat??"

"Yeah but you have a crazy metabolism. I could never eat like that or I'd get fat."

"Anything is OK in moderation."

"Just eat a balanced diet."

"I support Paula Deen."

"I can't give up starches, I need fiber for constipation."

"... it's fat-free!"

"We can't have you over for dinner anymore, because there's nothing we can cook for you. What do you eat?" (Repeated monthly.)

"You must come see this movie our vegetarian club is showing. It's called Veducated, and it will change your mind for sure."

"But you're clogging up your arteries!"

"But that diet is so unhealthy!" (This from a morbidly obese person who had asked how I lost weight.)

"That's really extreme. I believe we should eat a healthy, balanced diet. And anyway, grains are good for you."

I also hear the no-time excuse a lot.

I also hear its close cousin, "I could never afford to feed my family a paleo diet." This comes from a woman who should own stock in those cookie/cracker/chip snack packs, cereals, dinosaur-shaped microwave chicken nuggets, "Go-gurts," diet soda and other incredibly expensive convenience foods. It's all her three kids eat. o.O

Today, at lunch

Her: "Wow, that smells SO GOOD! What is it?"
Me: "It's just some salmon with lettuce and spoonful of tzatziki." Her: "That's so healthy!"

The puzzling thing to me about other people's diets is that they make themselves miserable eating food they don't like. I like what I eat on paleo (I do eat yogurt. Shoot me.). I miss some other food (cookies), but at least I'm not miserable eating what I DO eat.

"I'm going back on Weight Watchers for the 17th time. This time I'm going to make it work!"

(I have one this acquaintance who struggles with her weight, is metabolically resistant to all the usual methods, and IMHO is perfect candidate for paleo. I have sent her information, book recs, shared my experience. She keeps going back to ww, hating it, going off, and gaining 10 more pounds. She comments frequently on how great I look and complains frequently about her struggle to lose. SHE CANNOT GET PAST CW. I think she thinks, about me, "it's ok for you because you're diabetic and so of course you can't eat [sugar]." But I'm some kind of exception or anomaly and of course "Atkins" would be unhealthy for normal people like her. I have vowed to shut my mouth about this with her unless she comes to me and asks. Everytime she goes back to ww I feel like...I want to stab her with a baby carrot. I do understand, in a way, because I remember when I was too emotionally attached to my bread and pasta to even consider the idea. But I also know I was willing to TRY anything, and results and feeling good on low carb convinced me, and that eventually evolved towards paleo. ANYWAY! Long parenthetical. Sorry. Point is: I don't get why people will return again and again to something that fails them every time but won't take a chance on something unconventional just once. That is crazy shit.) (eta it's like going back to a bad boyfriend or girlfriend again and again!)

My view is that simply finding oneself in such a dialogue with a SAD person is a no-win situation. I consider myself successful when I am eating the way I want to eat, without providing any form of explanation or justification or rationale. Without even discussing diet. If this means my non-eating of cupcakes captures the attention a serious pastry eater, at most I'll find myself simply saying, "No thanks" and refusing subtle invitations to argue.

Imagine that you're a pagan, or an atheist. And you decide to go to the local Southern Baptist congregation where you think it might prove fruitful to make general statements in behalf of the tenets of your pagan or atheist worldview. Would that be a conversation you'd like to have? Would you expect to be greeted warmly and kindly?

People very rarely switch paradigms based on evidence. In the present case, this is because the evidence that a Paleo eater produces (studies, research, science) is ipso fact considered invalid at worst, irrelevant at best.

Now, if someone I love or care about is eating SAD and asks about the diet I seem to be on, I may choose to "share" but only in a setting that is free of contention or the need to be right or to make anyone else wrong. The key is: I need to receive an invitation to talk about my diet, before saying word-one. Barring an invitation, I simply notice that my diet is different from yours, or hers, or his, and that's about it.

Coworker: "Well, bread is in the Bible, so I'm eating it."

"There are many ways to be healthy."

"Different things work for different people." (Yeah, right. So does a lion have several different theories and methodologies for her diet? No? I didn't think so.)

"My dad just reduced his cholesterol intake and takes statins, and now he's fine." Ugh.

"Yeah, but what was the life expectancy of cavemen who ate like that? 25 years? 30 years?"

Edited to add one I just heard 5 minutes ago:

"That's why Paula Deen got the diabetes- for eating a pound of butter a day!" (I couldn't resist, I had to argue this one.)

(at coffeeshop)

Me: I'll take black coffee (possibly adding heavy cream later) Silly friend: Hi, I'll take a low-fat soy mocha latte...oh, and can you add hazelnut flavor syrup?

(friend and I stare at each other as if the other is crazy)

"We like liver but it's too high in cholesterol so we don't eat it."

1) "but dr. oz said..."

2) my ex-mom-inlaw: "dr. oz said red meat raises ur chance for diabetes" me: "that's impossible cuz meat doesn't trigger insulin imbalance" her: "i know that. but why would he say that?" me: "because he's wrong and doesn't fact check!" her: "i know he's wrong. but why would he say that?" ((i don't think she understood she was stuck on a loop like a computer operating on pre-set assumptions - "people on tv must make true statements all the time"))

3) "but this is complex carbohydrate, not simple carbohydrate" ((there will be 1-2hrs of a delay to ur blood sugar spiking but it'll be the same spike all the same))

4) "but this is carbohydrate, not sugar" ((and my head explodes...))

"That was a great workout! Want to get pizza and beer after?"

"How many points is in this donut?"

"No, this is the HEALTHY ice cream. duh."

"Look, this microwavable dinner is called lean cuisine. It must be good for you."

Food Tech Teacher- " You know an amazing amount of information!"

Doctor - " You should be eating a variety of foods, such as pasta"

Health Class teacher ( Obese) - " No that's entirely wrong, saturated fat is bad for you and carbs give you energy * eats bagel* "

Uncle - " Yeah well if you were a REAL caveman you should go and hunt your meat , we aren't cavemen anymore"

Me just finishing explaining paleo to friend , friend- " oh so it's something called a glucose diet? " ( W T F )

friends- " Bread is everything, I would never chuck bread away or say it's bad. It's written in the book"

"Oh ok... But I can't do that... I have high cholesterol" "You are excluding an entire food group, you can't do that" "You can't eat that much eggs... Three a week is is the maximum!"

I just downloaded this app to count my calories. I burnt 300 on the treadmill last night, which means I can have cheese on my tortilla today.

"I just ate two-hours ago and now I'm hungry again!"

"Too many eggs!"

Pffffft.

"I eat really healthy, I eat lots of whole wheat bread and lots of bananas. And I keep my meat intake very low"
"I get my magnesium from beer"
"I don't feel very well"
"Why do you go to sleep so early?"
"Why do you get up so early?"
(After I coughed once) "Are you okay? Do you feel sick?"
"Yuk. Veggies."
"Why do healthy things taste bad?"

Him: "I just don't understand why you want to do this whole...no-carb thing all the time. They won't kill you!"

Me [nomming down on sweet potato]: "no-carb thing?"

"You have some interesting ideas on health" (after I put coconut cream in my coffee + a square of 100% chocolate. I said "Why, thank you." despite her politically correct attempt at being scared. (This is a coworker that I regularly see eating doritos and other crap-in-a-bag all day long, but things like beef jerky are anathema to her.)

'One of the guys from Ben and Jerry's died of a heartattack, that's what you get for eating so much fat I guess'

'So why does the NHS tell me that saturated fat is bad?? I think they know more than you fella'

'How many eggs do you eat?' Me: 'about 3 or 4 a day' Friend: 'What??? That's crazy! I eat 2 or 3 a week TOPS'

TV: 'Now 50% less fat!'

Me: 'I eat a high fat diet' Friend 'Dude, mcdonalds is BAD for you' Me: 'I know?'

'Ugh can't believe how many doughnuts I ate! Definitely going for a run tomorrow'

'Dude, shut the f*ck up, no one cares about your eating habits!' Me: 'Sorry'

'I really need to lose weight' Me: 'Just eat a high fat diet' Friend: 'hahahahahaha!'

Women on BBC Breakfast 'The link between red meat and cancer is now basically irrefutable' Reporter: 'So what sorts of things should we be eating instead?' 'Pulses, grains, soy, vegetarian options' Me: 'Aaaaagghhh!!! Shut up!!! Aaggghhhh!!!'

"I can't afford to eat like that" As they spend $8 on a fast food meal. I cacn cook two or three paleo meals for that price.

"I don't have time to make stuff at home."

This is probably one of the most common excuses for eating fast food which I heard again from someone recently. It was often my excuse pre-paleo as well, even knowing for years from a logical standpoint that eating straight-up junk food wasn't good for me.

SAD but true, unfortunately.