Male perspective. Some body types are clearly more popular among men, 36/24/36 is a cliche for a reason, along the axis of Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek. Too skinny, too muscular, and wide swimmer's shoulders are a turn-off for majority of white western men.

Having said that, I agree with the others that there's a guy out there who's type is you, no matter what your body type. Remember that for many men a type is a pulse and a vag (let's see if that gets modded by the PC police).

Therefore it's more important to be comfortable in one's skin, act upon what you can control, and not worry about what you can't. Healthy self-confidence, poise and presentation elevates a woman 1-3 points on a 1-10 scale.

One of the things that annoys me most about Crossfit is that it pushes people to be more ambitious than they need to me. I'm more than happy to just be in shape and not do some bullshit like "active rest days." My coach gives me flack because I do crossfit three days a week + yoga once a week, but I take a week off every month. I'm like...c'mon I'm fitter than probably 90% of people out there and I'm carfree, so I'm walking A LOT and carrying everything I buy.

Frankly, some Crossfit women do drop into the subfertility zone of bodyfat, which isn't really good for you even if you aren't having children. I don't think women in the paleolithic looked particularly buff. Here is a picture of an Agta woman and that's one of the few tribes where women actually hunt:

I mean, there is nothing wrong with looking really really buff, but it's just a personal choice that has nothing to do with the paleolithic.

I actually add muscle very quickly and was previously told by a boyfriend to "knock off the rowing machine" because my arms were getting too big and I was scaring all 240lbs of him. LOL. This was in my fit 20s when I was in the gym 8 hours a week, lifting heavy and swimming, and was still living off my super healthy childhood, lots of sun, and strong genes.

Once a corporate gig, filled with coffee, alcohol, late nights, and too much travel, destroyed my muscle and hormonal balance, adding 30 lbs of fat, I was surprised at the comments from men. One of my male friends said "You are much sexier with a big ass and boobs." Another said "Never loose the zoftig." with a wink.

I personally found this shocking as I did not feel attractive.

But, it was an interesting shift in who was interested in "me". There was a broader scope of men who showed interest, but far less White men. I seemed to disappear off the radar for those who had previously been my target market - the baseball playing fratboy/Wall St traders, you know the type.

This experience really made me question MY ideal for "attractive" and also made me aware that, yes, no matter what shape, there is someone for everyone.

I'm not a girl, but I'll give you an opinion from a male perspective. When I first met my wife, she was 170lbs and squishy. Very curvy and her shape really pleased me a great deal. Very soft in all the right places...very feminine. Then she started joining me in the gym and started eating like I eat. Of course her body started to change.

Now she's 140lbs and very solid...visible striations in the visible muscles, She's what I call a HCWA...a Hot Chick With Abs... that rare woman who has a low enough body fat and enough muscle to have visible abs (an actual six pack)... She turns heads all the time...not bad for a 43 year old woman. She's placed in her last two amateur bodybuilding contests and in her last powerlifting contest. She's doing very well in her Combatives training too... and still IMO...very hot...and still very feminine.

A woman with muscle, definition, who hasn't used too many male drugs to look manly can't help but be beautiful and sexy. remember ladies, you don't have the hormones to get "arnolditis"...it's simply impossible for you to look manly from training...you make at most 15 to 25mg of testosterone a week...a normal man makes 75 to 100mg of testosterone a week.

Lift, sprint, run, train...you'll be fine and you will not turn into a man.

As the great Glen Pendlay said when women complained they'd get too bulky from training, "if building big muscles was easy, I'd have them." And that's just what I tell my female clients.

I'm a tall woman who puts on muscle quite easily. Personally I don't care what anyone else thinks of my body. I care about how I feel, how capable I am and how I perform. Work on being happy with yourself, that's all that matters.

for Nance

i like to call my body type "troll shaped". i have never had what mainstream would identify as an attractive figure. for a woman i have a very large ribcage, narrow hips and when i gain fat it is always on the small of my back and upper abs first, so i don't get curvy.

i personally think buff women look fabulous.

I think there's something to be said for some bodyfat on women. Extremely low levels don't look good to me, whether it's someone who's fit and strong or someone who's less muscular and very thin. That being said, I'm a muscular woman with broad shoulders and I for sure have a lower limit at which I don't think I look attractive. It's about the place where I still have boobs and saddlebags, but my lower arms and calves start to get veiny. I wish somehow I could magically have no saddlebags and a flat tummy without getting overly lean everywhere else... but whatever, if my fairy godmother ever shows up I know what to ask for. ;-)

I take things men say with a grain of salt however. If you talk frankly with dudes, you find out that they often have very different taste in women. Some may like buff lean women, some may like skinny women, some may like women with softer curves. If you're at a place where you're happy with your body and you're not abusing it through overtraining, then you probably look good. Whether you look good or absolutely amazing to any particular guy is in the eye of the beholder.

I enjoy fit women, whether they decide to be "buff" or somewhat softer. "Zaftig" looks good in pictures, but tends to sag in reality once a women exits her mid-20s.

My opinion: Swimmer's shoulders (or gymnastics, or rock climbing...), visible lats, and even visible abs are great so long as one has a narrow waist, wide hips, breasts, and a butt to balance them out. The more "masculine" the musculature, the more feminine the figure must be.

(That being said, there is a limit...female bodybuilders don't work for me no matter how much of an hourglass figure they have, and a few "fitness models" cross the line too. Amenorrhea, steroid abuse, and obvious bolt-ons aren't sexy.)

Many men are intimidated by women who take better care of their bodies than they do. Ask yourself: is someone like that worth your time? And will you really respect someone who can't be bothered to keep their gut in check? If they can't deal with one strong woman at home, how will they deal with the world of strong men in business and life?

JS

Marie in a post above said something to the effect of, "Once I gained weight more men found me attractive, but I did not feel attractive."

I know attractiveness involves another person's subjectivity, their opinion, but I really despise the idea of changing your body in order to please others. I wouldn't get lipo or a boob job to attract attention or to please my husband or any potential suitors; why should I decrease muscle mass and put on some bodyfat for those same reasons???

Absolutely right that strong hunter-gatherer women did not look like the women you see competing in the Crossfit Games. But does that make those amazing competitors any less attractive? More importantly, are any of them less healthy? That's the real question, imo.

Attractiveness is all in the eye of the beholder, but a woman can't try to please all the eyes. Focus on the ones that are most important-- the ones looking back at you in the mirror.

I'll let my rainbow colors show for a minute and respond to both questions.

So, my question is (for the ladies): Have you ever cut back on exercise and got a positive response? How do you approach the conflict between being very buff and the so-called “feminine” look of today’s media? Do you think women in paleolithic age were just lean and fit or truly muscular?

No to the first question. I've never been buff and even at my slimmest I was unfortunately skinny fat. I also have a largish cranium so I kind of looked a little like a bobble head. Ideally I would like to have muscles that show! At least sometimes. I like Oxygen and fitness mags like that so I guess I'm just not too interested in the skinnies. Mainstream media is soooo boring.

I think Paleolithic women were lean and fit with a varied body fat depending on the time of year and the available food.

Question for the men: Are you just looking for a woman that is confident in her skin or would you actually choose one body type over the other? (Only considering looks)

Confident in her own skin is a must! (God forbid anyone says they're interested in a woman based solely on her body type) Perfectly superficial, but what will catch my eye is a girl with tattoos and muscles. My partner was doing 100 diamond push ups a day when we met. Her arms where crazy big and cut. She packs on muscle like no one I've ever met. It is definitely her genetics. Her mom has big guns and she doesn't even work out. I know I shouldn't be jealous but I am. I want to be strong and buff too!

I'm a natural pear shape. I've never been buff, but I know a lot of my guy friends are put off by women who are "too buff." On the other hand, many of them aren't all that buff, so I expect it's a matter of how into exercise/musculature they are. On average, I've found men like curves, but that may be because I've never been non-curvy.

Personally, I think a woman looks best when she's comfortable in her skin, which usually means fit. I like confidence. Curves are a plus.

Good question! Until I was about 21 I swam competitively. I had fairly low body fat for a swimmer, but was always a bit softer than some other athletes at about 15% BF. (I know now that's lower than my personal goals, but it was the right amount for swimming in cold water.) I always thought, personally, that female swimmers were incredibly attractive because they were both really strong and a little soft. (I had defined muscles, but a layer of skin/subcutaneous fat over the muscles.)

I hate judging other people on their choices, but I worry sometimes that females try to attain a too-low body fat percentage because it's desirable either for thinness or 'fit'/'strong'-ness. When I was a runner my body fat got down to about 10% and I didn't have my period for almost a year. I can't believe that's healthy, and would rather have a little bit of feminine softness on top of the muscle.

For me? I feel loads sexier being strong and fit (which I am, fitter than most), but still sort of soft. My husband, bless his heart, says it doesn't matter to him, but I've gotten loads more "you're hot" comments when my body fat has been up at around 20% than when it was lower. (And we've been together long enough for him to have seen me at various BF levels.)

i love having muscle. i want to build more muscle definition everywhere because i think it looks sexy. and you know what, it DOES. i know i'm not going to get particularly "buff" because i'm a woman and don't have the testosterone for that.

also, i'm 5'9, broad shouldered like you, with wide hips and a narrow waist. heavy squats and leg presses only make my butt and legs look better and tighter...and upper body exercises just add a look of health and fitness that i like :) my curves aren't going anywhere anytime soon unless i start starving myself and doing cardio like a maniac.

being strong IS a good thing, women don't have to have the "visible muscles and definition" goal in mind necessarily...but everyone should aim to be physically strong to some degree...

my boyfriend has made snarky comments in the past about how i'm "too strong" (i'm really not) and that lifting weights is not going to give me the look i want, and i need to stop lifting heavy and blahblahblah. and it's hurt my feelings. but i know better, so i brush it off.

i think guys find healthy, confident women attractive. and for those who don't, they aren't ones whose opinions i care about anyway.

From the meta perspective being more confident and happy with yourself makes you more attractive to everyone I think.

From my perspective...while my wife never got "buff", it was definitely more of a turn on to...well...lets say...feel musculature "working". But, there is a limit. If you get too buff and lose too much body fat then as a woman you are not as fit for child bearing. So in this respect can't quite fight the fact that we as men still respond to curves in the right places on a very primal biological level.

Speaking from the guy perspective here, I claim that I don't have a type, but I definitely do find myself attracted to the athletic physique. I'm not put off by muscles, but it's better in general to have an appropriate amount of body fat smoothing it out. Here's the thing, really; it's so much sexier than any body type for a woman to have goals, work hard to achieve them, and see success. The only mitigating circumstance is that I need to first find that out about you for it to register and start mattering; if I don't know that that's what you're about, the physical is the only thing I have to go on. So, in the words of Jon Lovitz, get to know me!

I'm a definite ectomorph. I can be thin or flabby, but never muscular or curvy. My body doesn't put on muscle easily, and my hips are boyish. That said, I've gained and lost weight, added (some, not that much) muscle and lost it, and I am pretty sure Hubs doesn't care much at all. And people may comment that I've lost weight, but no one seems particularly excited one way or the other. Maybe that's the difference between losing/gaining weight and losing/gaining muscle?

That said, hubs has put on a boatload of muscle and lost a bunch of stomach fat with the combination of his paleo-ish diet and crossfitting, and I definitely am appreciating that change. But wait, that wasn't really your question now, was it?

I've always been, the social "ideal" for height/weight/measurements. I have ranged from a buff BF% of about 15% to my current 22%. My husband and I have been together 17+ years and he's seen all ranges... including the "bigger than a house" pre-eclamptic pregnancy, me. He enjoys the "skinnier" version ... less BF%, but since he's a red-blooded paleo man, he'll hit what he can get ;-)

A few soft curves make the clothes fall nicely. A fit woman looks good naked.

Having both = hotness all the time

You should sit down and write your own eulogy.

Be honest about who you are and see what it says.

I won't bore you with mine, but I can tell you it doesn't say anything about changing who I am to fit the perceptions of people around me.

Figure out who you are and live every single day of the rest of your life as that person. If it's buff or squishy doesn't matter, as long as it's really who you are and who you want to be. A genuine person will always be more attractive than a fake one, no matter how big her muscles/boobs are.

It was nice after stopping martial arts when my arms would fit into my dinner jackets again. I have large arms as it is, when I exercise I have to size up my shirts and jackets to accommodate my shoulders.

I do prefer my 'buff' state as it makes the excess flab I carry look better.

I'm also a 5'10 lady who is curvy, but in shape. Size 8-10. I've been eating a low carb diet and exercising 4-5 times a week for the last five years. I joined CrossFit because I was hoping to get more defined muscles and was honestly, excited for the challenge. Although I enjoyed the culture and how powerful I felt, I started to get pretty huge. My thighs, arms, and butt saw the biggest changes in growth and I started getting too big for my clothes. Frankly, I had the tough decision and ended up quitting because aesthetically, it wasn't the type of results I was seeking and frankly, as a business woman who wears a lot of blazers and enjoys fashion, I couldn't wear the same clothes in the same way. I now focus on cardio and am getting back to my old shape. My arms are still muscular even though it's been 5 months since I quit CrossFit. My husband likes my body less muscular for what it's worth. Each person is seeking different results, so you need to choose what makes YOU feel good about yourself and fits your lifestyle. As a tall woman who is naturally built "taller and stronger" it was overkill. Made me look more manly, so cardio gives me a taller and leaner look. For other ladies it might give different results, but thought I'd share my experience.

I agree with Kylee. I am about 5"8, and have been doing CF for about a year and while I love how strong I've become, I'm starting to feel less than enthused about what areas of my body are looking thicker. My body type doesn't get lean, instead CF has made me very thick. I can't fit into clothes the same way I used to and it's been bothering me to the point where I'm seriously contemplating returning to spinning and running with some light weight lifting. The heavy Olympic lifts will add bulk for some. I hate how people say girls will not get bulky...the truth is...they will. I played college division 1 basketball and am now doing CF and have witnessed it! Large traps on a girl and thick biceps are not feminine to me and personally, I would rather look more feminine than like a man. This is not the case for all women, but for me, I've started to have more body issues than I had before. It's a shame because I love the community piece of CF, but I just can't see results like I was hoping for.

it's like a waiter coming up to you and asking "would you like steak medium or well done sir?" both taste great, it's steak!

I'm new to crossfit, so I haven't had to tone back the exercise yet myself, but I have noticed this pattern in the crossfit community of overdoing things. On the first day of crossfit, a trainer said to the trial class that we should be able to ask anyone in the gym what their fitness goal is, as they should always be striving towards being better physically. While I think that people should always be striving towards improvement in some aspect of life, sometimes, you just gotta cool it. If you're really in shape and don't feel any inherent desire to lift those extra 10lbs or what have you, don't do it! Focus on something else! I think a lot of crossfitters lose that perspective, and thereby stress out their bodies, which is particularly inherent in women as it makes us look more masculine (less defined waist, smaller breasts, etc).

I think paleo women were lean, not buff, as they had no reason to be the latter. I'd ideally like to replace some of my fat with muscle to the point (and not past this) that I can, say, skitter over a high stone wall without breaking a sweat. I don't think I need to lift a car, thank you very much :)

In shape women are my type. I grew up with and have continued throughout my life surfing, bodysurfing, track, soccer, water polo, bicycling, hiking, and running. Sports and health are important.

Since I was a wee lad, women who are physically fit are exclusively what gets things going for me. Out of shape, pudgy, and fat is a major buzzkill.

In junior high school, my first girlfriend was a latina who was on the weightlifting team. Other girls in the school mercilessly criticized, teased, and made snide comments about my girlfriend's body. I got to see first hand the snarky body image issues of the mainstream female herd to the fit female. She wasn't roided out, but pleasantly buff, similar to Crossfit women today.

I was fortunate to marry a 5'1" former ballet dancer who diligently lifts weights, stays in shape, has muscle and is buff. She has great biceps, delts, shoulders, legs, everything. She weighs 105 pounds, is 52, and still majorly hot. We have been married thirty years and counting.

Count me as one of the admirers of physically fit and buff women. I would not have it any other way.