Happy Festivus! I'd like to take a second to celebrate and to initiate the Airing of the Grievances paleo style.
I am mad! Real mad that I've been told to eat lowfat, processed foods my whole life because it says "healthy" on the box. So I got fat! Real fat eating this way. You suck BIG FOOD! You are LIARS!
Thank gawd for paleo... it's changed my body, my mind and my life in 2011. 2012 is going to be awesome!
Merry Festivus eveyone! What's your 2011 grievance???
My biggest grievances are against the $%&#! doctors who convinced my mother that statins were necessary to lower her already-low cholesterol in order to prevent heart disease, and my morbidly obese, diabetic father that a low-fat, high carbohydrate, insulin injection-supplemented diet would control his disease.
When Mom had a heart attack three years ago at the age of 60, her artificially-lowered total cholesterol was 142. Dad is on the verge of needing his legs amputated from diabetes-related circulation issues.
It's so difficult to watch.
My paleo grievance is toward the restaurant that said my food contained no gluten, however, as I sit constipated on the toilet typing this grievance, it is clear to me that I was exposed to the devils spit!
My grievance is against my family and friends who ply me with a variety of temptations and encouragements..in the wrong directions. Stuff like:
. Have some more potato Gary
. Please can you just finish this up, I don't want any left-overs
. I bought you a monster bag of Peanut M&Ms because I know you like them
. Lemon cake is your favourite, here's some lemon muffins with a lovely liquid centre
. Please join our mince pie judging competition..it only runs for 6 weeks with a different pie every day
. EDIT and this has just happened...Do you want some Pringles? [waving the tube under my nose]
I love them all really, but please, in 2012, accept that I eat "weird" and just leave me to it...
My grievance is towards my mostly plump to fat family who thinks my 115 lbs of whipcord awesomeness is a random act of genetics, and that my "food thing" is just another crazy obsession of mine. Well fat diabetic family, wake the fuck up.
My 2011 grievance is that I fell off the wagon in August (4 months in at that point) because I hadn't fully internalized that wheat makes me sick and I hadn't yet discovered that drinking water kefir kills my carb cravings (and allows me to eat yogurt.)
I'm mad at myself because that was at least a 10-lb episode in stupidity--I gained 5 and then had to take them back off before continuing my overall weight loss. In case you're wondering, I gained 5 pounds because the first foods I ate on my binge didn't include wheat AND I did another binge a couple weeks later just to be really, really sure the wheat made me sick. It did.
And I guess this week counts as 2011, doesn't it? Well, my final feeble whimper was, "How about if I only eat one little piece of shortbread per day?" Answer: the first one didn't make me sick, at least not immediately, but by the 3rd day I had a powerful allergic reaction. (Visualize hand/finger pointing at me.) Slow learner.
My grievance is that I have not learned/internalized all of the paleo wisdom yet. Hit another hard fall into SAD but today is a different day. I will indulge in my favorite Christmas treats, but not just the okay ones - and no grains!