I am 21 years old. For the majority of my life I was a virgin. During these years I was certainly my happiest, most carefree, and healthiest.
Recently, in the last 2 years, I have developed a couple non-trivial medical problems (not related to STDs). Strange, is it not, that this aligns closely with the end of my virginity.
For the vast majority of my life I was adapted to not having sex. My n=1 experience says sex causes medical problems. Prompted by this revelation, I decided to dig deeper.
You see, my friends, I discovered that sex is a postpubescent agent of disease
Consider!, if you will, the majority of our evolution. Originally, we arose erratically as reproducing molecules, eventually coalescing into prokaryotic cells. Finally we developed nuclei, engulfed some of our ancestors to develop mitochondria, and lastly we developed sexual reproduction. For the majority of our evolution we did not have sexual reproduction!
Some more points for the nonbelievers!
I also weighed significantly less when I was a virgin (if you average across all years). The conclusion therefore is that sex lowers leptin quantum sensiquackery... err sensitivity. Or perhaps sex makes me insulin resistant? (Never mind the fact that insulin resistance is a pathology that develops to oppose gaining fat). Furthermore, let me point out that my sex is short and hard, HIIT if you will, no chronic cardio for me! This should raise insulin sensitivity and provide a hyooge HGH pulse to make me shed the fat. Not so, as sex is evil.
Sexual reproduction leads to every other thing hated by a majority of paleos. Gluten? Comes from wheat, and you had better believe wheat has sex. Dairy? Meant to help a newborn calf, conceived via the SEX. Nuts? Direct sexual imagery.
The reason we have mitochondrial leptin dysfunctionosmolarity is because mitochondria came form prokaryotes, and were not adapted to having sex!!!
Try my sex reset and I gaurantee you will lose weight. We need to recycle your diurnal sexual rhythmobalance.
First, you cannot have sex (with humans). Instead, you must spend time pleasuring your meals instead of eating. After mating with a few steaks instead of eating them, I gaurantee you that you'll lose weight.
Second, you must avoid all insulin spikes/pulses, as a pulse is clearly a phallic symbol and therefore sexualsymbol.
Stay tuned for an explanation of why this works.
Conciliator MD, PhD, Neuro-macgyver.